I feel like I’ve had that as my title before. It might be mostly because it’s the title of my life. There are times where the balancing act is fairly seamlessly woven into the fabrics of my daily processes, and other times where it’s a conscious presence looming above. That’s when it starts feeling oppressive. There’s a constant juggling show of me making sure I’m doing All The Right Things. You know–have I spent enough time with my family? Friends? My partner? Have I spent enough time by myself? Have I been reading enough non fiction to further encourage that part of my interests? Have I been working on my art? Have I been working on art that isn’t directly related to one person’s wedding or another? Have I read that one fiction book I started a few weeks ago and haven’t thought about since? Have I even remotely considered riding my bike somewhere? Probably not.
This sounds all very first-world-y and that’s fine. That’s almost the point. It takes so much of all these different components for me to keep my head above water, and then I go and start focusing on an amazing book, Arab Spring Dreams ed. Nasser Weddady & Sohrab Ahmari. It’s really… well inspirational isn’t quite the right word. But it’s a reality check. About the differences between my life and those of people younger than me fighting passionately, and sometimes to the death, to fix the wrongs they see in their governments.
My life is less full of such direct advocacy. It is however, full of small steps I take to make sure I’m doing the best I can. I live as honestly as I can and I take care of myself the best way I know how–and believe you-me, that’s a complicated process.
The balancing act isn’t solved in a day, or in a blog post. It was just top-of-mind conscious when I set down to write this. On a lighter note, (literally), you might notice I chopped some more of my hair off. I have to say, the asymmetry of the style is my new all-time favorite. Lets hope the next bride I’m standing next to feels similarly. Also on the chopping block were my mint green pants. I love my new long shorts. It’s like shopping but without spending any money! Excitement.
On a sillier note, I wrote half of this post before heading out with my mom to the art store (I’m in Seattle housesitting for her and she leaves tomorrow, so we snuck in some mother-daughter-time). I get a text from Stripes, who had previewed my (unfinished) post. “Your post is a little heavy–everything okay?”
She’s a good friend. I hope none of this is to melodramatic sounding, though. Mostly it was just the topics rolling through my brain. I’ll keep reading books about topics beyond my scope of identity and learning more about the world and the ways in which I am not, but could be, or should be, or won’t be, or shouldn’t be, involved.