After watching this youtube video about a little girl who is aging about 10 times faster than the actual number of years she’s been alive, I realized that there are something that I really do want to slow down and enjoy in my life that may not have realized before mono-pocalypse 2012.
I realized early on when I was hit with this bug that it was meant to be a learning experience. Once again, as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I’ve pretty much always been a balls to the walls kind of person…in high school I was a member of no fewer than 3 clubs at a time, if my grade in a class was a 95% I strove for it to be a 98%, if there was an AP version of a class I took it (aside from AP lit, that class was too intense even for me) and these habits have followed me into college. BUT they don’t necessarily have to continue on into my “emerging adulthood” (sounds so incredibly textbook…my apologies).
And so, with new resolve, I have been working on some goals, or I suppose a new ideal self (again, that’s from my psych textbook…but also a really cool idea! and it was explained by using Oprah as an example, who can’t like an idea that Oprah is tied to?) that really isn’t all that new. To be honest, I’ve always looked up to people who seemed calm, cool, and collected. Who never seemed rushed, stressed out, or panicky. I realize that there are too many moments in my current lifestyle that I am just those three things and I’ve always just felt bad about it rather than try to improve my situation (learned helplessness…I had a psych exam on Monday so all these terms are fresh in my mind! Psych nerds [I know you’re out there] unite!). But now that I am entering a state of flux and change, I realize that I can make the changes I want become the me I want to be in the long run.
I suppose this was a really long way to get to the conclusion that I need to re-balance my life. Don’t get me wrong, I will forever be type A and balls to the walls that’s never going to change about me, but I think I could stand to increase the fun seeking, enjoying the people and stuff around me parts of my life.
How do I plan to do this? Slowing down would be a decent first step (and thanks to the mono it has become the first step) but I think I also need to work on living in the moment and accepting life as it is rather than chasing life as I want it to be. Funny, right? I’m writing a post about wanting to change how I live my life and the first step I see is to accept the present and stop chasing change. I think it’s always good to have goals but I don’t think they should interfere with the degree to which you enjoy the present (I don’t always live this, but I sure think it’s something to work toward). I believe in being the best you possible at the moment you’re in given your situation. And I believe in spending time with people you love and value. I want to do more of this. I want to have “moments”, or periods of time filled with great memories and better people.
And so this is what I plan to do. I want to enjoy warm summers nights, slowly sipping wine in good company. I want to smell the springtime flowers and warm summer rains and actually acknowledge it. I want to play my guitar again and savor the lingering ring of the chords. I want to sing with people who are as committed to the art as I am. I want to feel inspired by my life, and actually take the time to savor that. I want to limit the quantity and increase the quality of commitments I hold. As you can see, there’s a lot of things I want to do and it’s going to take some time to fully change over to this lifestyle and to be honest, I think leaving the college scene and entering the next stage of my life is going to make it a lot easier because I can start fresh and I have less complicated ties in the next part of my life.
I’m sorry that what started as a list turned epic essay…I guess I just needed to say some stuff.
Boots: Rocket Dog via Famous Footwear
How did the college to real world transition go for you guys? Is it really as freeing as I feel like it is? Has anyone made any huge changes to their lives post-grad? Please let me know about your experiences in the comments section, I’m really curious about how other people took the impending life change of graduation!